A Batty Life

Archive for July 2nd, 2010

If I were President

There are a few Laws I would definitely have to make happen…

I’d start with The “Birthday” Law ~ Oh what a great Law this will be….
For years Birthdays have been a HUGE part of our society. Parents pay for Princesses and ponies,then at night they pay sitters so that they can go to an adult birthday party, and who knows it might even be a !!!Surprise Did You Know You Turned 40 Today Birthday party!!

Some Birthdays though…well…frankly, stink, go unnoticed, even make some people feel old, and get sad, or realize their very own family member didn’t even call…sniff
Birthdays are important and SOOOO special and everyone should feel that at least 1 day a year, and what better day than your birth date!?
This law will surely help make this day Happy! !
Every “Birthday” you get a tax return back!!!!
Not one for paying taxes, but for your charitable offers. All you have to do is be you, and a really nice you helping make a difference in your community, your state, or even the world!
I know what some of you are thinking, and I too believe you should do because you care and not because you want  a pat on the back… but listen, we are all busy in this world, I mean its taken me a day and 1/2 and about 60 times getting up and down to play, feed the children, clean, play some more, relations with husband a shower , and well you get the point… just to write this post!
So, so what if you need a little incentive to help the homeless, or clean up a park, your busy, and once you do it you’ll feel soooo GREAT that you won’t even remember you initially did it for the “BD” law….
So everybody wins, you give time, and love, and you get paid back with a bigger heart, some money and
big !!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Moving on to my 2nd law, it would have to be The “Entertainment” Law ~ This law would be funded by in partner with theme parks and or Barbra Streisand, split with your insurance companies
and a distant 3rd cousin of Ethel Merman.

This vital law will help so many fighting addictions and depression.
When this Law is passed all couples, gay or straight, and families  will be gifted free passes of their choice to a theme park or Broadway musical once a year, and 1/2 off on a whim!!.

It is So important that we as humans have something to look forward to, something to wake up fight and win for! And knowing you can go on that little dream vacation, or see that musical you own the soundtrack and jam out in the car to, yes we ALL see you… this Law will unquestionably true or real and beyond dispute  get you through those tough days.

Law #4 The “If you gonna have sex, you gonna take parenting classes!” Law~ I would have made this #1 But I wanted everyone to stick around and keep reading…
So this law HAS TO happen! Its simple, once you find out your child, male or female, is having sexual relations they, by law, get signed up for parenting classes where they will learn to be compassionate, selfless, cheesy like Barney and get educated on proper disciplining techniques.
This will either do 1 of 2 things.
Change their mind about having sex, or make them good parents in the future, either way both a HUGE positive.

Law #3 The “Overtime” Law ~ This law is one most everyone except greedy buisness owners will love…
By passing this law it allows  husbands and working mothers get home in time for an old thing that used to be around in the 50’s,… Oh what is it you ask??
Family time
Now sometimes OT just has to happen, and it is somewhat understandable…
But, what we at home, who are waiting for our other half to come back and be a part of the family, does not understand is why do we get the crap end of the deal??
So I say lets make it worth all our while and get paid Triple overtime, I mean if its that important pay up!
This law will keep families, and married couples closer making the divorce rate go down significantly!

And last but in no means the last is The “Support Our Mother” Law ~ Part I of this law is very important  it  will be paid for by insurance companies, giving a complimentary home cleaning from a huge team of excerpts carefully selected by Procter and Gamble themselves.
Thus keeping families healthy out of the doctors and in school at all times like happy little robots.
In the end its all about health care and schooling, am I right here or what?

Part II of The “SOM” Law is an added bonus to everyone in the family.
Part II will give all woman a large allowance to upgrade their kitchen every 10 years, God knows we are in it enough, why not make mom happy?! You know what they say a happy Mom makes a happy family, and a happy wife makes a happy Hubby

Sadly I will never be president, but it sure
Is fun to play make believe!