So this is blog world huh?

Our Batty Family

NEVER A DULL MOMENT...

It is sooooo CrAzY how life can change so fast!

One day you wake up with house full of cute happy little babies, money, shopping, & no worries.

And the next day your children are big, your poor, and working 3 jobs and still worried!

I’m not complaining, just saying how weird it is!

I used to watch The Twilight Zone in amazement of the twisted, bizarre, possibilities of life through Alfred Hitchcock’s eyes, as I was mesmerized by his stories.

And now I’m living in one!

And whats up with the white lines under my post?

~See…WeIrD~

Sheer Terror

For my 37th Birthday I wanted to do something special, something my family and I LOVE…
Go to a theme park of course!

But… this tip was unlike any other one we had ever been on, and one I didn’t know if all of us would make it back alive from.

It was a GREAT day, we were in our element, screaming on roller coasters …even the baby ones.
Getting splashed, singing cheesy park songs,skipping and sometimes running to the next ride.
A day where the girls kept saying, This is the BEST day EVER!!!!

until…
The swings.
One of my favorite rides in history but one of the scariest for me, just something about picturing myself getting ripped off the hinges and flying into the tress in the park.
One that I usually doubt bring the children on, and when we do go, I’m praying the entire ride.
This time, one of us almost didn’t survive.

We were next in line the guy called and said; I got 2 singles and 1 double, sweet that was perfect!
Paisley and Bella-Sky took the singles and Willow and I were off to find the double.
But…there was no double, we continued to walk around looking finally stumbling upon 2 singles.
We looked for the ride guy and saw a girl, she just looked and looked away so I figured lets just take it.
Willow went to sit down and we hear the ride voice from Heavens and a bell, they were both letting us know the ride was about to take off. I stopped as the hairs on my back stood up.
Willow and I looked at each other like we had both been frozen from the bad guy in a Batman episode.
Next thing I know the ride starts going!!!
I hurry and pull the metal down over Willows little lap, as the ride goes up I notice the chain dangling and think about Willows skinny body just waiting to fly out from under the bar, I wouldn’t let that happen I held on as the ride started to spin, I grabbed onto the top of the bar and with my other hand I took hold of the chain and immediately panicked that my sweaty thumb wouldn’t be able to open the latch and hook the bar.
It all happened so fast but I remember thinking of Jesus, before I knew it I fell out of the air just in time to get the hook on the bar.
Screams and whistles and crazed yelling filled the air as I watched my little baby spin away.
They stopped the ride, at that point I was in complete shock,I just remember I got on thanked Jesus, held Willows hand and rode the swing we kept looking at each other not saying a word, but knowing we were both saying just how much we loved one another.

People were freakin’ out, thankful, terrified, upset ,happy, disturbed.
All throughout the park it was the buzz.
But for Willow and I it was much deeper than that, it was the day Willow looked at me like a Superhero, and the day I knew our Gods presence was right there with us, and that a mothers love is one of the most powerful forces.
Yesterday was the most intense, surreal crazy experience I have ever had, it was almost like a dream.
But…it could have been a horrible story you all heard on the news today.

I am sooooooooo grateful, and soooo blessed, and soooooo happy I still have my little Willow.
Its something I say everyday, and I’ll say it again with even more meaning…

Life is too short to not to be happy today.

What the HELL Was I Thinking???

You know these moments, I mean we ALL have them.

Like when you look back in your Yearbooks and you thought you were lookin’ good that day,but now you see….yea, not.

Or when a friend posts an old picture of you on facebook … …or even a recent one of you with your mouth open to the side awkwardly, and your eyes are all squinted like there are bugs trying to fly spasticly into your face!
Oh or how about the times you congratulate the pregnant woman, and it turns out she just a beer drinker!!!

Well, the What the HELL was I thinking moment I’m speaking of today is…
children.

Now Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my girls, I think they are the BEST!
Funny, thoughtful, empathic, well behaved, not so much mannered…helpful, kind to animals and trees, my neighbor is gonna love that line…anyway you get the point.

But…there are these days when I think it would be better if I hid from the children, or locked them up, ran away, or got my stash of holy water, and DRENCHED the children in it praying loudly in a Spanish accent begging for mercy!!!

You see, when you are not a hitter, or a yes Ma’am kind of parent, things are…well…a bit more difficult.
Disciplining goes a little like this:

Come on girls be nice, no yelling at each other.
Paisley keep the tongue in the mouth.
Willow I saw that, come on.
Please
Guys…Bella-Sky don’t you get in on it now.
Really? What is happening? Why????
Please
Ok this is getting crazy, I’m starting to get mad.
Ok strike 1, oh good 2, are we gonna go for 3??
3 great no DESSERT!!!!!!
WOOOO I’m having a BLAST today!!! WOOO HOO Gotta Love family freakin’ TIME!!!!!

Girls…(this is where I start to feel bad and sad and defeated)
Really?( in a pleading voice) Life is too short
Come on guys, lets have a group hug.
Come on…like you mean it, come on you too Paisley.
Love you guys.
Good!
Now go over there and tell each other why you love the other one so much.

See, its a LOT of frigen work, and your cheese has to be on at ALL times for all of that craziness!!

Where if were a Hitter parent were in the same scenario it would go like this;

MAAAA!!!She said
SMACK!

Done

Or a yes Ma’am parent would go like this:
Mumse please tell Reginald that it is rather rude to call one names.
That is enough Reinald

over

Out of all 3 of us, which would you be?

Its funny raising children .
Its a lot  like a crazy Ass roller coaster that no man would ever go on.
Only a woman would ride this coaster but…when she gets strapped in the harness, she start to doubt that the damn thing really locked and the panic starts to kick in and shes wishes she had never got on!!!
And thats the What the HEll moment I’m talkin’ about…
Those days where there is NO hope, and you just don’t want to!!!

And then you talk to your girl friend that wants so badly to have a child, and you just want to tell them
in a physo voice smacking them in the face over and over…
“What the hell are you thinking??? Don’t you realize what you are wishing for??!!! Don’t you see me my mascara is running my hair and wedding ring has paint stuck in it, my toe nails are chipped with layers of polish dating back to the early 90’s and I have a nervous twitch that makes me squeak!!! Get out!! Run!!! What are you?? FREAKIN CRAZY!!!???”

But then there are days that I thank God all day long that I am this strange girl, who technically is a woman but thinks she regressed at somewhere around age 17 which would make her only about…20
But not the bitchy finding myself kind of 20, more like in dog years 20…
Anyway I am the luckiest mom to not only have the best most loving cool kids, but that I like them so much is an even bigger gift.
They are my little buddies, and although I have days where I think…Really? What the hell was I thinking??!!
But usually by the middle of the day I remember just what the hell I was thinking, and love that I did:)

If I were President

There are a few Laws I would definitely have to make happen…

I’d start with The “Birthday” Law ~ Oh what a great Law this will be….
For years Birthdays have been a HUGE part of our society. Parents pay for Princesses and ponies,then at night they pay sitters so that they can go to an adult birthday party, and who knows it might even be a !!!Surprise Did You Know You Turned 40 Today Birthday party!!

Some Birthdays though…well…frankly, stink, go unnoticed, even make some people feel old, and get sad, or realize their very own family member didn’t even call…sniff
Birthdays are important and SOOOO special and everyone should feel that at least 1 day a year, and what better day than your birth date!?
This law will surely help make this day Happy! !
Every “Birthday” you get a tax return back!!!!
Not one for paying taxes, but for your charitable offers. All you have to do is be you, and a really nice you helping make a difference in your community, your state, or even the world!
I know what some of you are thinking, and I too believe you should do because you care and not because you want  a pat on the back… but listen, we are all busy in this world, I mean its taken me a day and 1/2 and about 60 times getting up and down to play, feed the children, clean, play some more, relations with husband a shower , and well you get the point… just to write this post!
So, so what if you need a little incentive to help the homeless, or clean up a park, your busy, and once you do it you’ll feel soooo GREAT that you won’t even remember you initially did it for the “BD” law….
So everybody wins, you give time, and love, and you get paid back with a bigger heart, some money and
big !!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Moving on to my 2nd law, it would have to be The “Entertainment” Law ~ This law would be funded by in partner with theme parks and or Barbra Streisand, split with your insurance companies
and a distant 3rd cousin of Ethel Merman.

This vital law will help so many fighting addictions and depression.
When this Law is passed all couples, gay or straight, and families  will be gifted free passes of their choice to a theme park or Broadway musical once a year, and 1/2 off on a whim!!.

It is So important that we as humans have something to look forward to, something to wake up fight and win for! And knowing you can go on that little dream vacation, or see that musical you own the soundtrack and jam out in the car to, yes we ALL see you… this Law will unquestionably true or real and beyond dispute  get you through those tough days.

Law #4 The “If you gonna have sex, you gonna take parenting classes!” Law~ I would have made this #1 But I wanted everyone to stick around and keep reading…
So this law HAS TO happen! Its simple, once you find out your child, male or female, is having sexual relations they, by law, get signed up for parenting classes where they will learn to be compassionate, selfless, cheesy like Barney and get educated on proper disciplining techniques.
This will either do 1 of 2 things.
Change their mind about having sex, or make them good parents in the future, either way both a HUGE positive.

Law #3 The “Overtime” Law ~ This law is one most everyone except greedy buisness owners will love…
By passing this law it allows  husbands and working mothers get home in time for an old thing that used to be around in the 50’s,… Oh what is it you ask??
Family time
Now sometimes OT just has to happen, and it is somewhat understandable…
But, what we at home, who are waiting for our other half to come back and be a part of the family, does not understand is why do we get the crap end of the deal??
So I say lets make it worth all our while and get paid Triple overtime, I mean if its that important pay up!
This law will keep families, and married couples closer making the divorce rate go down significantly!

And last but in no means the last is The “Support Our Mother” Law ~ Part I of this law is very important  it  will be paid for by insurance companies, giving a complimentary home cleaning from a huge team of excerpts carefully selected by Procter and Gamble themselves.
Thus keeping families healthy out of the doctors and in school at all times like happy little robots.
In the end its all about health care and schooling, am I right here or what?

Part II of The “SOM” Law is an added bonus to everyone in the family.
Part II will give all woman a large allowance to upgrade their kitchen every 10 years, God knows we are in it enough, why not make mom happy?! You know what they say a happy Mom makes a happy family, and a happy wife makes a happy Hubby

Sadly I will never be president, but it sure
Is fun to play make believe!